I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
