i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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