Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
