how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
