Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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