I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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