Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
