i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
