He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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