she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I did not marry a roomba.
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