dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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