So drunk, too bad you don't want this
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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