therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
