I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
