The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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