I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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