You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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