I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
