And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
