69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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