so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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