i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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