did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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