Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
