so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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