I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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