does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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