hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize