i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
