i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
