shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
