that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
