Porn is love you can see.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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