I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
