cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
