Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
