OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
