my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
