"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
