We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
