she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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