are you still at the devil's house?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
