Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
