We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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