grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
