does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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