i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
