smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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