I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
