At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
