Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
