Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
