so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
