I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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