What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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