Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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