yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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