Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
