Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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