from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
