I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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