i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
