if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
