Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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