you have to choose: penises or morals?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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