so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
