she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
