I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize