I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm really busy with my period
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