ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
