i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
