oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize