I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
