She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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