omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize