Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would ride that face into the sunset
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
