Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
