The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
