whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
