my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
