Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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