then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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