you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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